Smog, Kings Canyon National Park, California

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Can't make out the grandeur of Kings Canyon? Neither could I. Smog from California's Central Valley goes right up the mountains, up 7,000 ft. or more, to poison the trees and blight the view.

Here's what you're supposed to see.

All through the Central Valley, and Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks, the air was hazy with ozone, dust, soot, organic pollutants, and cow shit. I'm talking hundreds of miles in every direction, even in the farm country.

Being in the filthy air made this the worst couple days of my trip. Walking through and breathing smog even up here in the Sierra Nevadas literally brought me to tears, like the Indian in that 70s pollution commercial.
I always thought California pushed harder clean air standards because they're more crunchy. No. They have a miasma that needs healing now.

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Mississippi River, Effigy Mounds National Monument, Harpers Ferry, Iowa

Past the Mississippi River's west channel from Effigy Mounds National Monument, Iowa, are middle islands, with the hills of western Wisconsin beyond.

The Effigy Mounds are a collection of funerary or ritual mounds, some shaped like animals, along the river. They were built over a millennium or more, and similar mounds are found throughout the Eastern Woodlands.

Taken by the history and beauty of the place, I placed a milkweed seed ball among three mounds. I now regret this. The Effigy Mounds are sacred to local Native American tribes whose ancestors are buried there.

Even today, they perform religious ceremonies at the site. And I just put a bit of my friend there, not considering their feelings. Shitty of me. You don't mess with other folks' family graveyards and memorial markers.

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Jehovah's Witnesses Pamphlet, Pine Lawn Park, Grand Meadow, Minnesota

I don't know how, but the Jehova's Witnesses found and cornered me at my campsite. Pamphlets are a waste. There's a surefire way to recruit me ...

Just bring me a Starbucks venti Americano and a good piece of carrot cake. I'd convert, no questions asked. I'd even become a Russian spy!

But no, they bring crappy literature.

At least I know I'll have moved again before they come back!

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Pine Beetle Devastation, Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado

This beautiful view in Rocky Mountain National Park, Colo., is less beautiful if you look closely. About 2 in 3 trees are dead from a pine beetle outbreak.

I saw this sad effect of Global Warming was all through the mountains of north-central Colorado and southern Wyoming. A decade of warm years and drought weakened the trees, allowing the pine beetles to overwhelm them. It’s a world out of balance.

Hopefully, the mountain ecosystems will find a new balance. But I can’t help but be fearful. I’ve heard that in some Rocky Mountain and Sierra Nevada forests, the trees have stopped coming back after forest fires and other disasters. In other words, the ecosystems as we know them are dying.

Besides being inherently bad, it threatens human well being by reducing watershed capacity and increasing soil erosion. Not only that, but fewer forests means less carbon dioxide sequestration and oxygen production. It becomes an unvirtuous cycle.

I remember seeing these mountains green with trees. I hope my grandchildren – and your grandchildren – get the same chance.

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Urban Encroachment, Saguaro National Park, Tucson, Arizona

Not all US National Parks are in the wilds, and Saguaro National Park is a good example. Just east of the Tucson, Ariz., city limits, houses go right up to the park’s border. But that suits the people of Tucson just fine.

Saguaro's windy, hilly Cactus Forest Drive is a popular ride for bikers. When I was there, many bikers – mostly older folks – were gathering for some kind of group ride, Lycra shorts and all. I didn’t see any hikers when I was there, but I bet after work, plenty of Tucsonians take to the trails.

The biking event also attracted a couple of old church ladies, too, who’d set up a display in the parking lot promising to inform us on “What the Bible Really Teaches Us.” Fortunately, the noonday sun drove them off before they could solicit me.

Yes, there are saguaro cacti here – lots of them! But that only scratches the surface of the dryland biodiversity in the park. It’s a veritable garden. Unlike the ranched lowlands along I-10, the park, on the better-watered foothills, is exploding with desert plants: saguaro, barrel cacti, hedgehog cacti, cholla, palo verde trees, grasses, herbs, and much more. The mountain peaks have pine forests, and being February, the highest peaks even had a dusting of snow, even as it was 85 °F (30 °C) down by the visitor center.

Since I was there around noon, I didn’t see many animals, which tend to come out more at night. I mean, daytime temps are well over 100 °F (40 °C) much of the year. Wouldn’t you stay inside until nightfall?

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YFZ Ranch, Eldorado, Texas

FOR SALE: YFZ Ranch compound. Clubhouse suitable for May-to-December weddings and picnics. Great security. One owner (and his 71 wives). Serious cults only.

Gas Tank in Cemetery, St Matthews A M E Zion Church, Whitmire, South Carolina

It's a shame the cemetery is the safest location installers found for this gas tank. (The church is a few feet to the right.)

Gatlinburg From 321 Above, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." — Obi-Wan Kenobi

Trashy People's Trash, Houchin Ferry Campground, Mammoth Cave National Park, Brownsville, Kentucky

Some trashy people left a little of themselves behind at the Houchin Ferry Campground. Maybe this is why we can't have nice things, America!?